Perception

The move was over a week ago. And I can't complain. The only negative about this place is the distance. Otherwise, it's peaceful, it's nice and no one is getting on anyone's nerves because neither my sister nor I are ever here. As a matter of fact, I haven't seen her in over a week. But she's alive and well. She's "Honeymooning" with the other half. We all remember that phase in relationships. Sometimes, if you're lucky, it lasts forever!

Anyway, next subject....
The other day I had an image of my ex. I remember coming down the stairs of our townhouse in the Poconos (and I use "ours" loosely) and he was looking up at me...and for the first time ever, I saw him for what he is...ugly. It really freaked me out. He is a good looking man for the most part and most of my friends and family members always thought so, and at that moment, things with him weren't bad, but I just saw something sooo unattractive about him.....

It made me think.... Was that a sign of things to come? I mean, things between us were always up and down, before and after that moment, but I had never seen him that way. Was the ugliness seeping out of his pores? And should I have taken that as a warning?

Right now, I'm a single woman. I see someone on a regular basis, and he's an amazing friend - hopefully a friend for life if nothing else - And even though, we had somewhat of a big down at a certain point, I've never seen him that way..... I mean, we don't always look spectacular right? But I can never say that I've looked at him and found him "ugly."

So on that same note, I started thinking of yet another person I once dated. And, once again, at first, everyone - including myself - thought...wow, he's not bad looking at all. And it helped that he was funny and seemed sweet and generous. But on our first official date...we were sitting down in a lounge and he was talking and talking and talking... and I had that image with him as well. He just became...ugly. Not because of his talking...but his appearance changed before my eyes... Well, once again, I should have seen it as a sign. While nothing major ever took place with him, he attempted to really play games with me, and he basically fed me one of the biggest lies ever... and not too long after my discovery that he was a dirty whore AND a coke-head... his physical appearance began to dwindle. An epiphany of what was to come? Maybe.

I think it also works the other way around. Another dude that I briefly dated, I hadn't found attractive at first. And while he was no saint, because we always kept it more or less honest and ended things without really ending them... he actually went from being ugly...to decent looking. Before anything ugly could occur... (and it eventually did, just thankfully not with me)... it was done and over with... With me he was sincere (for the most part) and generous (by his own standards).

I guess my point is that it's a sign to look out for. Once your partner, the person you're dating...or even just a platonic friend... starts to look ugly... it's probably just their true essence pouring out of their body.