Media Set in Puritan Times

A couple of weeks ago, I read the book The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. It was definitely tedious but somewhat interesting. For those who don't know, the story surrounds a young woman who is forced to wear a bright "A" on her dress for the rest of her life for having committed adultery and for bearing someone else's child. She also refuses to give up the name of her partner in crime.

She raises her child in silence and her husband comes back just in time to see her being ridiculed by the town. The reader quickly learns that she never loved her husband but was forced to marry him out of necessity. To make this long story short, she and her lover plan to run away together after 7 years of silence but her lover dies of a broken heart.

Now I'm watching The Crucible. Here it is people are being crucified just for being suspected of being a witch. And this actually happened. First it was women, then children being included and finally, they started burning men at the stake as well... all for suspected witchcraft. And here it is... none of these things truly exists.

What's worse is that these practices go further back than our biblical history. Absolutely disgusting. And really, what makes this worse than what is going on now? People being killed for their religious practices? People who are crucified because of their sexuality... political stances... I mean, should I go on?

And it seems no matter how hard we try to change, ignorance remains prominent and people will continue to hold themselves "higher than thou." The world will end this way. It's disgusting.

Love

So this past weekend, I was hit with reality in a very harsh way.

I was told, that I was never going to be loved....by a particular person of course. The reason is because... I'm too good for them? Better than they are? I would think that would be all the more reason to love someone.

What A Week!

So in less than a week...

I was snowed in
Got terrible cabin fever
Got cable, internet and phone installed
Cabin fever disappeared
Wrote 5 papers
Took 2 exams (2 more coming next week)
Had a disagreement that sort of blew out of proportion... (but I started the entire thing by opening my trap in the first place so strike one for me)
Got bombarded with bible thumping... (SMH)
Had 1 fun, distracting night with a special friend... ;-)
And witnessed the most obvious hypocrisy in the world and then joined in myself...(because I'm not a monster after all)

And the week is still not over...
Tomorrow, I have to clean, go to the post office, "cleanse" the house (not the same as cleaning the house lol) and do some groceries and somehow find the energy to go out and meet with my friend for some beer....
And finally the week will be over...

Oh and I have a tooth that is slowly chipping away currently...

Next week will start with a test... a dental appt... another test and who knows what else.. I'm sure some papers will pop up in the midst...

Keeping these fingers crossed for a smoother ride....

Perception

The move was over a week ago. And I can't complain. The only negative about this place is the distance. Otherwise, it's peaceful, it's nice and no one is getting on anyone's nerves because neither my sister nor I are ever here. As a matter of fact, I haven't seen her in over a week. But she's alive and well. She's "Honeymooning" with the other half. We all remember that phase in relationships. Sometimes, if you're lucky, it lasts forever!

Anyway, next subject....
The other day I had an image of my ex. I remember coming down the stairs of our townhouse in the Poconos (and I use "ours" loosely) and he was looking up at me...and for the first time ever, I saw him for what he is...ugly. It really freaked me out. He is a good looking man for the most part and most of my friends and family members always thought so, and at that moment, things with him weren't bad, but I just saw something sooo unattractive about him.....

It made me think.... Was that a sign of things to come? I mean, things between us were always up and down, before and after that moment, but I had never seen him that way. Was the ugliness seeping out of his pores? And should I have taken that as a warning?

Right now, I'm a single woman. I see someone on a regular basis, and he's an amazing friend - hopefully a friend for life if nothing else - And even though, we had somewhat of a big down at a certain point, I've never seen him that way..... I mean, we don't always look spectacular right? But I can never say that I've looked at him and found him "ugly."

So on that same note, I started thinking of yet another person I once dated. And, once again, at first, everyone - including myself - thought...wow, he's not bad looking at all. And it helped that he was funny and seemed sweet and generous. But on our first official date...we were sitting down in a lounge and he was talking and talking and talking... and I had that image with him as well. He just became...ugly. Not because of his talking...but his appearance changed before my eyes... Well, once again, I should have seen it as a sign. While nothing major ever took place with him, he attempted to really play games with me, and he basically fed me one of the biggest lies ever... and not too long after my discovery that he was a dirty whore AND a coke-head... his physical appearance began to dwindle. An epiphany of what was to come? Maybe.

I think it also works the other way around. Another dude that I briefly dated, I hadn't found attractive at first. And while he was no saint, because we always kept it more or less honest and ended things without really ending them... he actually went from being ugly...to decent looking. Before anything ugly could occur... (and it eventually did, just thankfully not with me)... it was done and over with... With me he was sincere (for the most part) and generous (by his own standards).

I guess my point is that it's a sign to look out for. Once your partner, the person you're dating...or even just a platonic friend... starts to look ugly... it's probably just their true essence pouring out of their body.

Randomness

I started a second blog for the random things I find. I'm trying to condense my mess so it's better to put it up somewhere. Of course, it would be a great idea if I backed everything up because the last blog site I posted on died. I'm still not happy about that. Lots of valuable postings I had up there...that's for sure.

Well, things are settling. Looking good again, getting exciting.

I saw this amazing play last night called A View From the Bridge by Arthur Miller starring Scarlett Johanssen and Liev Shrieber... LOVED IT! I want to run and see another one. And the bonus was getting to see Susan Lucci before the play. I wanted pictures but it was cold out and I didn't feel like waiting...plus I had to use the bathroom. It would've been something like an hour before the stars would run out. And really, is it all that serious? Perhaps not. They are just human beings...but if I have nothing to do after the move, I'll go take a trip with my friend into the city and get the pics then on a warmer night.

Well...the landlords must think that since it's our last week here they don't need to give us heat becuase it's freezing in my apartment again. Sigh. It's almost over. And it so happens that we only have 2 more months of cold left anyway....

Anyway, I think things are just going to get better from here on out. At least I hope. Again...we'll see!

Finally....

Okay...so the anxiety is subsiding... Finally, everything is falling back into place. Moving next weekend. Sigh...

I'm definitely going to start packing today. My sister tells me yesterday that people aren't exactly on the same wavelength we're on... I forget how she worded it (which is too bad because it was right on target) but she was saying we're just way ahead of the game when it comes to getting things together and organization while everyone else lags behind. She's right. And I don't mean to sound so full of myself because it's more of an issue we have than anything else.

I do tend to procrastinate a lot but at least I always KNOW where I'm going or what I'm going to do. It really clicked last night when I heard my roommate discussing her moving situation with a friend and I thought....she just NOW decided when to move and how to pack, etc etc. So really, it is just me acting crazy. I just can't NOT know things... I have to have a schedule or I end up not doing anything or doing everything half assed.

Anyway, now I can breathe, but I have to say that I'm super sad to be leaving Brooklyn. It has truly become my home in the past year (even though I've been here for three). But I decided that I will move back to Brooklyn or downtown Manhattan after I'm done with school. Because the truth of the matter is that I need money and I can't just up and leave. My funds have depleted considerably since being unemployed and I have to use my brain.

It's funny. This past week I was talking to my childhood sweetheart and he asks me to drop everything and move down to Florida with him in March. Smh... First of all, I haven't seen you in how many years? About 12? And secondly, been there and done that. Not making the same mistake again. Plus, my emotions are in a different place right now. The illusive feelings I had for this kid over a year ago are a big joke right now.

The way I'm feeling about life... and other things and people... well, let's just say I'm taking everything for what it is and everyone for what they are. I care immensely for people I never thought I'd give a second look....and I'm just generally at a different place in my life right now. Things are good right now. Life is good. Why change anything?

I am happy and grateful to be where I am today.... I want to go further but I'm definitely content as of right now. I will be even happier and more grateful when I'm done with school.... and when I've moved into my own place....

Movies...Haiti...

Let me first address this ongoing Haiti catastrophe. I feel very, very bad for these people. On the news today, there was speculation that the government may have caused the earthquakes due to military testing. This wouldn't be the first time any political power has destroyed a people and caused a natural disaster. Do your research people. (i.e. Puerto Rico...Guatemala...Cuba...etc etc)

Meanwhile, we have all these Bible beaters going around saying that this happened to Haiti due to their lack of belief in God....or I should say...in A God rather than the gods. Sigh. The amount of ignorance I've encountered is just..... there's a lack of words to describe it.... Let's just say this... Before monotheism ever existed or became an idea...there was polytheism. I'm just going to leave it at that. (Did you know that the story of Noah's Ark was around during SUMERIAN times..... and yes...there is archaeological evidence to suggest that there was in fact an Ark....)

There's nothing that anyone in Haiti did to deserve such destruction. It's ridiculous, unfair and unjust. And if it wasn't caused by a political force...well...guys it just happens. And it's our chance to actually DO something for others rather than just watch things happen to them.

Anyway, on that note, I went to see The Book of Eli...and while I was saddened by Denzel's injuries in the movie...I can't say I was impressed it...especially the ending. Actually, I was quite unimpressed. I should have paid for Up in the Air (which I snuck into). While that movie had a depressing ending...the entire storyline was excellent. I think The Book of Eli was lacking a little something...and I felt that it was tooooo easily done....And I'm not talking special effects....I just mean it was too short of a movie for it to evoke any true feeling in me other than the aforementioned sadness at Denzel's injuries... I just expected something spectacular to happen and honestly memorizing the book, even if it IS the Holy Bible...is not impressive... (see previous blog on Autistic children - I'm sure there are a couple out there that can memorize each and every scripture backwards and forwards). Anyway, I'll re-judge that movie after I read that book...because it was in fact based on a novel. I haven't seen The Road yet...but I did read the novel by Cormac McCarthy that it was based on...and THAT storyline had a much more powerful and enlightening message.... Anyone who has read the books and/or seen the movies.... will understand why I've compared the two. Similar "end of the world" storylines...but they went somewhere entirely different in their "what if's." The Road was just FILLED with hope that The Book of Eli just lacked. Again, I will judge further once I've read The Book of Eli and seen the movie adaptation of The Road.

Well that's enough gibberish for today....I had a couple of other thoughts but sometimes some things are better left unsaid!